Ultraviolence
by Hurdy Gurdy Woman
Summary: Two monsters trapped within one shell: one belonging to the Order, the other to the Clan of Noah. Allen wanders about different countries seeking refuge. Can he find a new family or be subjected to spend the rest of his existence alone with his two inner monsters? [Allen/Lavi/Kanda eventually to come, even if it doesn't seem like it in the first few chapters.]
1. First Meeting

**Full Summary**: Two monsters trapped within one shell: one belonging to the Order, the other to the Clan of Noah. Allen wanders about different countries seeking refuge. Can he find a new family or be subjected to spend the rest of his existence alone with his two inner monsters?

Before him, it was just her: a rogue exorcist who has no desire to follow the ways of the Order. Life with innocence is a curse, nothing more, yet when she comes across one boy, she finds herself questioning her role in this war and if she can truly be the parental figure he looks up to her to be.

**Rated T** for language and anything worthy of an "M" rating will be stated as such before the chapter begins.

**Pairings:** I plan on playing around with both Allen/Lavi and Allen/Kanda pairings, as well as few other pairings, even though it doesn't appear as such within the first few chapters. But I'll get there, just need to set a plot up is all, haha.

**Main Themes**: Hurt/Comfort, Family, Drama, friendship, and slight romance.

* * *

><p><strong>Ultraviolence|<strong> First Meeting

**Allen**

Allen Walker found her upon the hill, standing beneath blue-white beams of moonlight with innocence in hand.

A battle against a level two akuma left him weary, breath heavy and muscles sore. What was once a weapon now shifted into red-skinned flesh—what most normal people unknowing of the secret war would consider horrendous burn scars. He would have shielded such a sight from the women in fear of scaring her, but when their eyes met for the first time, she kept her composure still and calm.

Allen's eyes lingered in her cold stare and even though they stood a good distance apart, he felt uncomfortably close. A storm off east was blowing in and cold air danced across his cheeks and through his hair. He brought his normal hand to his face, scratching at his chin in confusion.

_She has the innocence…_

The innocence he just destroyed an akuma for. Upon finding it mere moments ago, he was jumped by the creature, engaging in battle and losing complete sight of the green light. When he drew the final blow, ending the monster's existence, he found himself completely alone in a grassy field covered in black blood.

And when he glanced upwards, he saw her watching him from atop that hill with a soft green light illuminating from her hands. This stranger whom he could only assume was a mere traveler seemed calm, surprisingly so.

Swallowing, Allen forced a smile, awkward it was but it was all he knew. "Uh, I hope you're not startled…but, I…" His stare fell from her face and onto the innocence. "I need that."

She cocked her head slightly, glancing down at the innocence as well. Allen could see her fingers tighten ever so slightly around the glowing object, his heart pounding in fear.

_What if she's not human, but akuma?_

_Or…_

There was the Clan of Noah, a tale he had just leant of just mere days before. Humans with the memories of Noah, fighting on the Millennium Earl's side…_and an enemy of the Order._

Memories of the Noah Road flooded him, a pain forming in his eye. His hand shot up on instinct to rub it, body tensing as he remembered the impact of the candle. Removing his hand away, he gave the mysterious woman a cold stare.

Had he found another Noah?

It would make sense, what with her calm composure after witnessing his battle with a demon. What normal human being would react as such?

Cold air entered his lungs and he flexed his fist, preparing for the worst. He dreaded the thought of entering another battle, but he was an exorcist, and he needed to protect the innocence at all costs. "I need that," he repeated, voiced stronger this time, more determined. "You…"

"I saw you down there," the woman said softly while cutting him off, eyes falling down to the base of the hill. "You defeated the akuma…" Another gust of wind blew up, casting her dark hair across her face. Her gaze found its way back down to the innocence. "It would be wrong of me to claim your prize, yet…"

_Wrong of her…?_ The statement puzzled him, yet, allowed him to slightly relax. _She isn't on the offensive…perhaps she is not Noah?_ "Who are you?" Allen found himself asking, eyes searching her face. He could find no markings on her pale flesh and her composure didn't carry that of an enemy. _Could she possibly be…?_

"Here," she simply said before tossing the innocence to him.

Allen caught it, bringing it to his chest as a mother would do to a child, full of care and perhaps even love. Widening his stare, he glanced back up. "You…do you know what this is?"

She nodded before turning her back to him, face cocked upwards to stare at the moon. "It's innocence, is it not?"

Allen took a step forward, still holding his prize to his chest. "Yes, but how do you know that?"

Avoiding his question, she stated, "You're young for an exorcist."

He found himself blinking. _She knows about innocence as well as exorcists? She doesn't seem hostile and she handed over the innocence freely. Is she…could she?_ A smile came to him. "Are you…are you part of the Order?"

He could see her head tilt slightly his way, the crook of her neck appearing to him. "No," she answered, voice harsher than he deemed necessary.

Taken aback, Allen raised a brow, lips forming a thin frown. Another step he took, getting a clearer look at her face. He could see the tightness in her jaw, the tension from her shoulders. If she wasn't uncomfortable before, she was now, that much was clear to him. "Then who are you?"

Fully she faced him, stare slightly narrowed and lips clenched tight. Crossing her arms, the woman shook her head once before looking at his chest—or more so, the innocence. "Should I regret handing it over to you?"

For a moment, her stare seemed sad.

Allen shook his head, offering her a weak smile. "No…I'm an exorcist. The innocence belongs with me." He too looked down to the green light, his red fingers clutching at it protectively. Oddly, it felt warm—full of life even. "But you…" His eyes found hers. "How do you know about innocence if you're not part of the Order?"

The look she gave him was a mixture of amusement and concern, and after a long silent pause, she shook her head one last time. "I need to go." Turning around, she began to walk down the hill.

Allen followed her, stopping when she reached the base. "You didn't answer my question!" he called out.

"I'll give you an answer if we happen to meet again," she answered after briefly turning around to face him. For the first time since they're meeting, a tiny smirk formed. "Take care of it," she ordered softly before returning back to her journey, away from him, away from the innocence.

Allen blinked once more.

While he did not receive an answer, he found himself satisfied to some sense. Yes, she was still this mysterious figure with knowledge of his world, yet, at the same time, she carried herself in a way that deemed her not a threat. _Perhaps…maybe…She could possibly be an ally?_

_An ally who doesn't like the Order?_

When he went to look for her one last time, he found nothing but empty plains of grass and pools of moonlight. If he had the time, he would have pestered her some more, asking—no, demanding she tell him who she was and her reasons for handling the innocence. He wouldn't do so for fear of the Order, but more so for pure curiosity.

Shaking his head, Allen quickly tucked the newly found innocence away into the safety of his coat, patting it once before taking his leave in the opposite direction.

The day was almost over, the night dominant, and Allen determined it to be a successful outing. Not only did he manage to defeat an akuma, he found innocence. _But at the same time, I started up a mystery._

_And if I were still under the care of Master Cross, she would be a potential date to bring back to him._ A dull expression crossed his face as he thought of the womanizer. While he considered him to be quite lewd when it came to women, he knew his master was a determined man. _And he's much better at talking with them than I ever could be._

Sighing, Allen forced back a frown. _Where are you, Master? Why did you disappear?_ While he knew they were useless questions to ask, only causing him more stress than needed, he did have to admit he missed the man. Not his debts, though. Or the drinking. Or smoking. And most definitely, the womanizing.

But Master Cross, in a way, became somewhat of a father figure for Allen, offering him guidance and tips in the world of exorcists and innocence. _He opened my eyes to so many things…he gave me strength and even though his words were sometimes cruel, hope._

Allen's red hand flexed, fingers burying deep into his palm. Cross was in no way Mana, but he was better than nothing. _And the Order needs Cross…_

_I will find you, Master._

* * *

><p><strong>Juliette<strong>

Juliette watched the boy make his way through the open field, finding his way to the barren road and towards the sleeping city. She didn't mean to follow him, but curiosity stuck to her, clawing at the back of her mind. It was her first encounter with an exorcist in years and while he seemed timid, he intrigued her more than she thought she ever could be when it came to that lot.

Granted, part of her regretted handing over the innocence, especially to one of _them_, yet, that boy seemed harmless. _But he's not the one keeping the innocence; he's collection them to bring back to that base…_

Chewing on her cheek, she took behind a tree, peering ever so slightly to watch his tiny figure shrink as he strolled farther and farther away from her. Part of her screamed to get the innocence back; that it wasn't _right_ to allow it to fall into the Order's grubby hands. The other part ordered her to leave the boy be and keep on her way.

_Besides, you want nothing to do with innocence anymore, remember? You threw that life away a long time ago…_

No amount of mental convincing could drive her away fully, though. Yes, Juliette tried full well to remove herself from such a lifestyle, keeping away from innocence and the Order, yet, like always, she found herself wondering back.

Like this night.

It called to her, that green glow: strong, fast, _and loud_. Its screeching cry became too much for her to handle. By some miracle she knew not what of, she stumbled across the innocence, sitting there upon grass, alone but bright, brighter than any star in the skies.

_And maybe it was the boy who drew me in?_

Perhaps that was indeed the case. The screech could have easily been the battle cries and clashing of weapons, and when she took to the top of the hill, she could easily see the boy fighting that demon.

She would have intervened, almost afraid of him falling victim to the gruesome creature. That was, until, the boy's arm morphed from a sickly looking appendage into a beautifully grey gun, orange and yellow flickers of light erupting out of it. In mere seconds, he destroyed the akuma, bringing about its end in one swell swoop.

_His fighting style was a bit messy…but he's just a kid._ Juliette glanced down at her fist, pressed firmly against her abdomen. _It's not fair, to start off young like that._ She started off young, younger than that age, and she hated the life set for her because of such.

Her first meeting with an exorcist other than her kin left a bitter taste in her mouth. No, she didn't dislike the boy—why would she? She dreaded what he stood for, more specifically, _who_ he stood in for.

_The Order, whomever rules it, sends those kids in as the grunt men…disposable, and when they fall, they're just replaced with more disposable exorcists. _A frown formed, anger slowly taking over. Pressing her fist to the tree trunk, she allowed a sigh to escape.

_How can I possibly live a peaceful life if I keep allowing such emotions to take over? I have to stop doing this…looking for innocence…but…but…_

But the thought of the Order collecting more of the precious shards left her uneasy. She knew there were good intentions within the group, but she also knew there were darker agendas.

_That boy…he appears kind enough._

_Kindness doesn't get you far in the world, though._

Shaking her head, Juliette twisted around so she could rest her back against the tree, arms falling heavily at both sides of her. _If I had kept the innocence, he would have surely tried to fight me…and I don't' want that. _It wasn't as if she was afraid of the boy and she was pretty sure she could take him, but she didn't want any unneeded attention drawn her way.

She lasted this long under the radar and she couldn't afford stepping out into the spot light. _The Order will try to take my freedom away, like they once did…_

Glancing up, she watched the moon float up in the black blanket of sky, small little dots of light dancing around it. _Was it fate that I met this boy? Or merely coincidence? _

A smile came, small it was, but it was the best she could do.

Juliette would have stayed like that for eternity if it had not been for the warm breath of her companion against her ankles. Glancing down, she watched the furry creature look up at her, dark eyes round and full of concern.

"Malik…"

The dog cocked his head upon the mention of his name.

"Let's go," she whispered as she pushed herself away from the tree. One last gaze was casted towards the path the boy took but she found no sight of him. He was gone, along with that innocence, and she knew it would be fate if she ever did run into him again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** The first few chapters will be of Allen and Juliette's meetings, and then the main story will kick off from when Allen leaves the Order after being broken out by Tyki and Road. I wanted this story to focus mainly on Allen and his internal struggles with leaving the Order and being wanted by the Noah, but I also wanted to play around with the idea of him finding a new family, so I hope it isn't too bothersome I'm throwing in some OCs. (._ .) I'd much rather keep to canon, but there isn't any rogue exorcists…yet(?).

Anyway, in case you were wondering, Juliette is 22 at this moment (23 at the time when Allen leaves the Order).

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you stick around for some more!


	2. Second Meeting

**Ultraviolence| **Second Meeting

**Allen**

"Krory…" Allen couldn't help but frown at the naïve vampire who sported wide innocent eyes above one huge grin. "Those…those are fakes." He didn't want to crush his new comrade's happiness, but at the same time, he couldn't just stand around as he blew through all his cash. "You've been scammed."

Krory's smile left him as quickly as it came, puzzlement settling in. "W-what?" the man asked, voice clearly full of doubt. "No, that can't be! The merchant said this was a one of a kind rare artifact!" The vampire proceeded to wave the cheap plastic toy before Allen's face.

Pressing a hand to Krory's shoulder, Allen gestured for him to turn around. "Look, behind you: The merchant has a whole bag full of these 'one of a kind rare artifacts.'"

The vampire weakly shifted, glancing over his shoulder. A whimper escaped passed his lips followed by a sniff.

Allen could feel the man's shoulders stiffen. "Come on," he said, pushing past him while taking the toy from Krory's hands. "Let's get your money back."

The fat merchant never even saw Allen approach him. He was too busy greedily counting his new money, eyes wide and chins jiggling as he laughed quietly to himself.

"Excuse me?" Allen asked, eyes narrowed. "I believe you owe my friend his money."

A sharp gaze was thrown his way. "What, boy?" the merchant growled, pushing himself up while still clutching Krory's cash. "What'd you say?"

"I said that you should give my friend his money since you clearly scammed him."

The merchant's stare narrowed even more. "You can't prove that!"

Allen pointed one slender finger towards the bag of cheap identical toys. "What's that then?"

The merchant's body trembled, especially his chins. "Oh, that…well, uh…" Fear took over, sweat pooling down his thick cheeks. "You know what: Here, take the money!" He proceeded to push the cash into Allen's hands before twirling around to scoop up his items and scurry away. "So sorry about that! Come again!"

Rolling his eyes, Allen handed both the toy and money to Krory. "You have to be more careful, Krory. There are people out there that will do their best to scam you."

While the vampire thanked Allen with a small smile, the young exorcist could clearly see the pain behind his eyes. _Thrown out into the world after living in that castle for all those years. It's going to be a tough journey for him._ Determined, he promised himself he would aid Krory in whatever way possible to get the vampire used to the outside world.

A cheerful voice rang through, belonging to none other than Bookman. "Come on guys, the train will leave any second!" Lavi fist pumped the air and took the lead, gesturing for the other exorcists to follow. "We don't have time to sit around, alright?"

While he found the redhead's antics strange at times, Allen couldn't help but smile at Lavi's need to move things along, as if he didn't know the word patience. But it was true: the train was coming and the group couldn't afford to wait for the next boarding.

"Let's go, Krory," Allen simply said, following after Lavi.

* * *

><p>Upon boarding, the group quickly took to the back of the train, finding a secluded area where they could rest easily. Naturally, Krory found himself in a ditch, this time involving a little girl who appeared sweet, but was a scam artist at heart.<p>

"She said she had ten-thousand brothers and ten-thousand sisters," Krory objected as Allen handed him his clothes, traded off for a few flowers. "She told me the money would go to feeding them!"

"That's impossible," Allen retorted, huffing as he sent an annoyed look to the girl. "And, once again, another scam. Krory, you really need to look out for these kinds of people…" He couldn't help but feel sorry for the vampire, watching as he slipped on his outfit, pale cheeks now a deep red.

"I feel foolish," Krory muttered after getting dressed. Returning back to his seat, he took one of the flowers to gaze upon—a blood red rose. Allen couldn't exactly read the man's expression, but he could tell he was under deep thought.

_It must remind him of that akuma…his lover…_

"You're finally back," Lavi stated, voice full of excitement. His eye found Allen's when the boy took a seat next to Krory. "Look back over there."

Allen peered over Lavi's shoulder, eyes searching. "What…?"

"Look!" Lavi whispered harshly. "All the way back there, where that cute girl is sitting."

Cocking a brow, Allen found the source of Lavi's excitement: The woman he met back about a month or so. Her eyes were shut, cheek resting upon her palm which was propped up on her elbow upon the train window.

"She's a total score," Lavi explained, wiggling his brow. "You think I'm her type?"

Allen sent the older boy a strange look. "I wouldn't know," he answered, feeling his legs tense up. _Should I go over there?_

Lavi cocked his head back to get another look. "I should go over there, right?" he asked before turning back around to face Allen. "You think she'd talk to me?"

Getting up, Allen pushed past the giddy redhead. From the corner of his eye, he could see Lavi's mouth drop open, shock forming in his expression.

"Allen!" Lavi whispered. "I said _me_, not _you!_"

He paid him no attention; he had more pressing issues at hand. Here he found that strange woman once again crossing his path. It was odd to him for such an event to happen, especially within the short time that was a month. _It's time to find out who she is._

Approaching her quarter of the train seating, he pressing his good hand on the back of the chair opposite to her. A low hum of a growl came then, alerting him to glance down. A dog about the size of a Retriever or perhaps a Doberman sat upon the seat, glaring up at him with dark eyes.

Pulling his hand back quickly, Allen gave off a weak smile. "G-good, doggie," he muttered, taking a step back.

The dog only responded by arising, baring his white teeth with a snap.

The woman's eyes shot open, sleep quickly leaving her face. Shifting, her stare went from the animal and landed on Allen.

"You…" she whispered. Her eyes widened, body going stiffing. "You!"

Allen shot his hands up in a defensive manner, more so to show that he was no threat to the dog. "Uh, hi," he greeted while sending her a pleading look.

"Malik," she firmly said, causing the dog to slightly back down, at least to the point where he kept his teeth hidden. She returned her glare up at him. "You're…you're that kid from before."

Allen nodded. "Yeah, and I found you."

A thin brow rose. "Have you been following me?"

Blinking, he quickly shook his head. "Oh, no, not at all!" he quickly objected, fearing that she thought him some stalker. "That's not it at all…I just happened to have spotted you from my group over there." He pointed back to where Krory and Lavi dwelled, meeting the redhead's hard gaze and the vampire's confused one.

"They're…" she muttered weakly before going silent.

As the dog took to his owner's side, Allen sat down, feeling the warmth created by the creature. "You know, I can say the same thing about you, about the following thing."

The woman's hard expression was enough to silence him on that accusation. Crossing both her legs and arms, she asked, "What do you want?"

"Well," he answered weakly, taken back by her cold approach, "I was, uh, wondering if you could tell me about yourself."

A whimper—more like a snort—came from the dog, as if he found what Allen said to be funny. And that's saying if the dog could even understood Allen to begin with.

"Listen, kid, I'd love to play twenty-twenty questions with you, but right now I'm tired and well, you're friends over there keep looking our ways." Smirking softly, she added, "Why don't you scurry back over there and forget about us ever meeting."

_So cold!_ Frowning, Allen shook his head. "No, you promised me you'd tell me who you were if we ever met again—"

"And that was because I never thought we would," she said, cutting him off. "I don't even know you…why would I tell you about myself?"

"I'll tell you about myself, if you do," Allen answered, grinning. "I mean, you never know, we might end up having a lot in common." _Such as both being exorcists…but I need to know for sure. She knows too much not to be one._

The woman's eyes did one slow roll. "Fine, what do you want to know?"

"We should start off at the basics: Names. I'm Allen, Allen Walker." He extended his good hand to her, offering her to take it for a shake. "Nice to meet you…?"

Cold and hard she spoke. "Luna." She didn't take his hand.

_Okay, so far so good. _Retreating his hand, Allen made sure to flash a friendly smile. "Nice to meet you, Luna. Now, another question: Why were you out there that night holding the innocence?"

Her eyes widened slightly. "That's not such a basic question," she responded, scratching her cheek and pushing aside some brown locks of hair. "I thought we were starting off easy."

"Well, uh, that's easy enough, isn't it?"

Her eyes fluttered shut. "I guess there's no way to dance around it then, huh?" Licking her lips, the woman took a moment to breathe. "Fine, I was out there—traveling—and I heard some odd noises, found the green orb, picked it up, and then you came." Her eyes shot open. "Got it?"

Allen's hands came together over his lap. _She's not telling the complete truth._ "You're not exactly telling me what I want to know."

"You asked me why I was out there holding, uh, did you call it _'innocence'_?"

Allen couldn't believe this woman, playing around the truth and acting dumb. "You clearly stated that night that you knew it was innocence, don't pretend you didn't." _Why is she being so difficult?_ "Just tell me who you are."

"I already did," the woman retorted with a smirk. "Luna, did you not hear me?"

It was Allen's turn to roll his eyes. It happened: frustration took over and he blurted the question out. "Are you an exorcist or not?" While he didn't exactly raise his voice at her, he instantly felt shame for acting so rudely. _But she was the one jumping around the questions…_

Shifting in her seat, Luna let out a heavy sigh. "There we go; was wondering when you would get straight to it."

"Are you saying…?"

"No," she shot back, brows lowered. "I'm not saying that at all. I'm not an exorcist."

"But you know of the innocence…" He scooted up in his seat so he could get a better look into her eyes, searching for answers. "You know of the akuma…if not an exorcist, then what are you?" _She can't be a Noah…can she?_

A confliction of anger, confusion, and annoyance crossed the woman's face, and while it looked like she wanted to answer, she kept quiet. Finally, after a moment, she shook her head and glanced down at his deformed arm. "I'm just like you."

"Like me…?"

She met his stare, expression softer than before. "An innocent user…but…"

"You're not from the Order?" Allen finished for her, putting the pieces together. It confused as to why she wasn't a member, and more importantly, why she was dodging around the questions. _Why is she giving me trouble? If she's an exorcist, she shouldn't fear anything from me...but...?_

She nodded.

"Do you know about the Order?"

A quiet snort came from her. "I know full well about the Order," she answered as she casted her gaze out through the window. "And no, don't bother trying to recruit me. I'm not interested."

That left Allen even more confused. _She's so angry in regards to the Order, but why? Why does she act like this…? Is there…is there something I don't know that she does?_

"And don't bother asking why. I'm done with the questions." She flicked her stare back to him. "And I'm done talking, Walker. Your friend seem anxious for you to return."

He held his tongue, fighting back the urge to question her some more. At this point, it would have been beyond rude of him to pester her anymore, and the agitation on her face was clear enough to read. Nodding, he arose and offered her one last warm smile. "Thank you for answering my questions, Luna. Really, it was nice meeting you."

When she didn't look his way, Allen nodded once more. "I bid you a farewell, and if we meet once more, I hope it'll be on happier terms."

That caused the woman to glance his way, face numb and empty of emotion.

He offered a weak smile at the pooch before turning around to return to his comrades. Upon taking his original seat, he was met with one angry-faced Lavi, cheeks as red as his hair.

"YOU," Lavi practically snarled. "You totally messed up my game!"

"What are you talking about?" Allen smirked.

"Look, she's totally pissed off! What did you say?" The boy's one eye was filled with rage, yet Allen could detect the depression creeping up. "I was going to score!"

Shaking his head, Allen rested his body on the back of his seat, eyes glancing up at the ceiling. "We just had a friendly talk, that's all. No need to throw a fit."

"No need to throw a fit!" Lavi gasped as he kicked at Allen's shin. "You'd be just as angry if I went and ruined the perfect score for you! You have no idea what you've done: right now I could have been chatting her up, offering her sweet nothings, getting a bit close…" The boy continued on with what could have been and Allen found himself drifting away.

That was until he realized they were short one vampire.

"Lavi?"

"…and she would stick it…"

"Lavi?" Allen repeated, louder.

"…it might be a bit messy, but that's the fun part about…"

"_**Lavi!**_" Allen snapped, earning the older boy's full attention. "Where's Krory?"

* * *

><p><strong>Juliette<strong>

Once again, Juliette found herself staring at the white haired boy, curiosity swimming around in her mind. He had found her, strangely enough, and even had the nerve to question her.

_I did promise him answers the first time we met._

But she had never expected to see him again after that. He was supposed to be some passing traveler, never again meant to cross her path. Yet, here he was, sitting across the train box, chatting it up with another exorcist.

While cold she may have been, she did answer his questions—at least, partially answered. Yes, she gave him a false name, but she wasn't some idiot. The risk with offering her birth name was too great and she never knew what he would do with such information. _Feed it back to the Order? Let them know about the rogue exorcist named Juliette?_

_And then they'll know, remember really. The search hounds will be sent out to find me…and then…then…_

Then her somewhat quiet life would be ripped away from her.

Shaking her head, the guilt of being harsh with the boy left her. _Hopefully, he won't try to find me or talk to me ever again, if I scared him off enough. _A frown tugged at her lips. _He was awfully friendly when he left…too friendly._

Uncrossing her legs, Juliette shot her stare back through the window, watching as a blur of greenery slowly morphing into mining fields. Her stop was coming close. _Good. I can get away now and forget about that kid._

Malik pawed at her hand, begging her to allow him to rest his head on her lap. Eyeing the hound, she smiled softly, running her fingers through his coarse black hair. "You're too big to fit on my lap," she reminded him, but lost when he forced his head upon her lap and under her other hand. _He may be colder than me sometimes, but he does have his needy spells._

Patting the dog, she glanced back over to the box where the boys sat, blinking when she found them gone. _They left?_

_It shouldn't matter. I need to move on and avoid those guys. You're not an exorcist, remember? Not anymore._

Crossing her arms, Juliette allowed herself to relax and return back to her nap. Her stop would soon come and she would need her energy for her upcoming journey.

* * *

><p>The air outside the train was hot, dry, and dusty. Clearly, the dirt from the dug up mines filled the air and Juliette had to take short breaths, sniffing occasionally and holding back a cough. Tolls from the train erupted and she approached the station sign, eyes searching for a bulletin board.<p>

Malik strolled from her side, but she paid him no mind. _He's probably looking for a corner to piss on._ Biting down on her bottom lip, Juliette began to trace one of the signs. _Looking for new miners! Wonderful pay!_ Another sign read: _Weary travelers should check out the Toasty Inn! Discount to those who refer to this sign when checking in!_

Shrugging, Juliette pulled away from the board, glancing off to the left when she heard the sounds of weak mutters and shivers. Amusement took over at the sight of three men stripped to only mere boxers, shaking as they gazed up at three familiar exorcists.

Allen—she now could properly place a name to him—was handing them clothes. "Here," she could hear him state. "We don't need these."

While one of them appeared angry, he took it nonetheless. "You're a lifesaver, kid!" the man stated loudly in a surprisingly friendly tone, betraying whatever agitation he original had sewn across his face.

The train screeched out, alerting its upcoming departure.

"Here!" With curiously, she watched as one of the men tossed something to Allen, and while she couldn't exactly tell what it was, the boy seemed interested in it well enough. "They're yours! Consider it a token of my thanks!"

As the train departed, she could hear the faint voice of Allen thanking him.

_He's too cheerful, that one._ Deciding the commotion was finished, she went to look for Malik, searching around her and frowning when she couldn't find him. Pressing her hands to her hips, she clicked her tongue, wondering where the hound pawed off too.

"Eaze, careful!" a voice called out, earning her attention.

She found Malik and a dull expression took over. He was flopped over on his back, allowing a small child to stroke his stomach. _That dog…Can't he ever resist a belly rub?_ Approaching them, she pressed the tip of her shoe gently against Malik's back, earning the dog's full attention.

"Up," she order to which he followed, quickly taking her side but still watching the child.

The kid glanced up at her, his dull eyes meeting her own and she couldn't help but notice the mask covering half of his face. _Has illness taken this kid?_

A phone buzzed off in the distance.

"Eaze, be careful around big dogs, yeah?" a man with a cap ordered, voice slightly rough but full of concern. "You never know when they'll snap."

A low grunt came from Malik, clearly hinting at his objection to the man's comment. Juliette shared an amused look with the dog before glancing off to the man. "He's fine," she simply said.

"He's nice," the boy added, voice weak and soft. His hands cupped together over his small chest, breathing broken by a cough.

Juliette couldn't help but take in his attire: dirty rags. Pity took her then. _Just a kid…a baby practically. Sick and probably hungry._ While she herself was of no means of wealth, she did have some spare coins, and if it meant this kid getting another meal, she didn't mind sharing. Pushing her hand into her pocket, she fished out what she could and handed it to the boy, earning a strange look from him.

"Oi, hey now," the man with the cap said, almost angry. "No need for that; we can care for ourselves."

Another of the men approached them, long straight brown hair covering half of his face. "She offering some money?" he asked, voice chipper. "Let her help Eaze out now, huh."

The other man took to crossing his arms, throwing his gaze aside in obvious embarrassment. She knew his type: too proud to take money no matter how poor he may be.

"It's fine," she spoke, kneeling slightly down to hand the money off to the kid.

With timid hands he took it, glancing up wide into her eyes. "T-thank you, miss," he whispered, before coughing. When their skin touched, she winced at how cold he was. Juliette ran her hand through his greasy hair, patting him and making sure to smile—something she wasn't used to doing.

When she went to leave, she felt a pair of weak arms snake around her shins, causing her body to go utterly numb. The child was hugging her, pressing his soft cheeks to her knees.

Hugging was not one of her strong suits.

Pulling away and quickly at that, she gave the kid a weak smile while trying her best to hide her discomfort. "Eh..." she muttered. "Bye." She quickly continued on, watching as Malik took the lead. She went by the man at the phone, only sending him one passing glance as he stared at her.

And she continued on.

Juliette had a journey to finish, and little friendly kids like Eaze, and even Allen, were not something she needed to deal with. But if forced the option, she would choose the normal kid any day.

_A normal kid for a normal life. He may be ill, but at least he has nothing to do with innocence._

_And most importantly: Nothing to do with the Order._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I know I switched the scenes of Krory's involvement with the little flower girl and Tyki's gang, but I did so on purpose. I hope it wasn't bothersome. I also switched around Allen's knowledge of the Noah back in the previous chapter, making it earlier than it was canon, so I hope that wasn't bothersome either.

Thank you to everybody who read, reviewed, followed, and faved this story! I hope you're enjoying it as I am writing it. :)

Responses:

**ilee (Guest): **Thank you so much!


	3. Barcelona

**A/N: **This chapter is in between meetings of Allen and Juliette, but involves other canon characters briefly. The purpose is to start setting up the plot for when this story really kicks off.

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><p><strong>Ultraviolence| <strong>Barcelona

**Juliette**

It had been one week since finding the girl—or more so, the girl finding her.

Their strange meeting was as such:

She came silently from down the road, stopping before Juliette and offering her a small smile. "You," the girl had first stated, voice simple, yet oddly enough, knowing. "I've found you."

From there, Juliette could only assume the worst: The white haired boy Allen had spoken of their meeting in the train to some higher up in the Order, therefore alerting all who were interested in the rogue exorcist. And now on that barren and lonely road, one of them had found her.

With fists clenched, she met the girl's stare dead on, watching as dead pools of blue slightly narrowed. Malik's low growls filled her ears, clearly stating he was ready to fight by his master.

"Who are you?" Juliette asked, making sure to keep her voice composed. "What do you want with me?"

The girl, still standing still and calm opposite the road, cocked her head, eyes falling upon the hound. When she glanced back up at Juliette, she said, "I am no enemy." In a slow swoop, the girl pulled her coat back, causing both Juliette and the dog to stiffen from the unknowing. Instead of attacking, the girl only offered a friendly wave of her hands, as if to show she was of no harm.

Swallowing, Juliette quickly glanced up from the girl's hands, searching her expression and only finding a friendly but thin smile. "Sorry, but I'm not going to easily buy that. You're going to have to do better."

_I don't want to use my innocence, but if I have to, I will._

Anger crossed through her mind, an uneasy feeling tugging at her gut. _Ever since running into that boy the first time, I've had nothing but crappy luck with keeping hidden. My life was simple, for a time…until…until Allen came along._

Was this his doing? Had this girl found her on behalf of Allen? She claimed to be not an enemy, but that didn't mean she wasn't part of the Order.

Malik's growls increased in volume as he took a step forward, protective stance engaged. Juliette knew full well her companion would attack first; he always did.

The girl showed slight fear then, eyes widening a bit as she took a step back. "Please, I'm no enemy. Allow me to speak." Her hands came together, resting gently upon her chest as she sent a pleading expression to Juliette.

"Hurry up then," the older woman ordered. "Speak your business."

Hesitantly, the girl sent one weak glance up at the skies before speaking. "It might sound strange what I have to say, but I beg of you: Please listen to my tale." Her gaze found its way back to Juliette's, eyes soft. "I have been bestowed the power of sight, given to me by a strange green object that I know not of. Upon receiving my powers, I was shown a vision—sharp and harsh, yet, brief. In it I saw you, a woman with the powers of the green light." The girl paused before continuing on. "I tried to ignore these visions, but as the weeks continued on, they became harsher and more demanding…as if clawing at me. I…I left my home, my family, in order to find you, hoping that by doing as such, the visions would stop."

Silence hung in the air after the girl stopped.

_Visions? Green light...? Could she mean…?_

"How did you find me, though?" Juliette asked, body slightly relaxing. "You said you were given visions of…of _me_, but that doesn't explain how you sought me out."

Raising her brow, the girl answered. "My visions are not the only gift given to me, it seems. I…I can feel a connection, I think, to others who share such similar powers as mine. I'm not sure how to explain it, but upon my travels, a…a feeling arose in me when I got closer and closer to, well, you, I believe." With eyes wide, full of wonder, she added, "And it wasn't until I found myself on this road that I felt a strange sensation, almost as if relief mixed with overwhelming joy."

"You…you can sense others like us?" Juliette didn't think about what she said, revealing to the girl that, yes, she too was like her. "You can see us and then find us?"

The girl nodded.

_She has the power of innocence, yet she thinks it's some gift. Does she realize what life has in stowed for her now?_

"The power you've been given is called _innocence_, and…" Pausing, Juliette found herself glancing down at the road, almost as if afraid to tell the girl the truth of such a power. "…and you have been thrown into a war." When she pulled her gaze back up, she could see the clear confusion in the girl's eyes.

"A war?" The question was simple but the impact was complicated. How could Juliette possibly explain everything to some kid, no older than fifteen, possibly even sixteen?

_So young she is…but she carries the burden that no child should._

Crossing her arms, Juliette shook her head. "You've been chosen to fight as a warrior of the Order, or as they like to consider themselves, _God_." Casting aside a dark gaze, Juliette continued, letting everything out for the girl to hear. "It is your duty to find and protect the shards of innocence scattered about the world, giving it to those worthy of them so that they too can fight in this secret war."

"What is this war you speak of, though?"

Cocking a brow, she sent the girl a smirk. "Against demons and monsters and all the things that go bump in the night." Rolling her eyes, she added, "And against this man—no, _creature_, who creates such monsters. Your job is to destroy the Millennium Earl or die trying."

The girl's own stare fell heavy, lips casted down in a small frown. Her small frame seemed so timid, so afraid. "I…I don't think I'm good enough to do such things…"

"Then don't," Juliette shot back, cutting the girl off. "From somebody who has already gone through it all, I can only suggest this: Go back home. Forget about having the power of innocence and try your best to live your life as normal as possible. You're young…enjoy life while you can."

It was the girl's turn to raise her voice. "I can't," she practically cried out as if fear had finally broken her. "I came to find _you_ to stop the visions, and the thought of leaving sends an overwhelming sense of doom throughout my body. I…I don't expect you to believe me, but you and I were meant to cross paths, to join our roads into one path."

Juliette suppressed a snort. She found what the girl said to be quiet humorous, but at the same time, alarming. _Is she saying she wants to become my traveling buddy? I can't possibly be her only hope…and there's no way we're 'joining paths.'_

"Sorry, kid," she stated simply before turning around, "I ain't got time to babysit." She started her walk, not bothering to send a second glance back; that was until she noticed the lack of noises made from following paw pads. "Malik…" she muttered softly before turning to look down at the dog.

Malik sat between them, his dark eyes wide.

"Come," she ordered firmly, annoyed that he didn't originally follow her. When he continued to sit in his spot, she spoke again, louder, angrier. "Malik, come now."

He responded with an agitated bark before getting up and strolling over to the _girl's_ side and not her own.

"Seriously?" she asked, more annoyed than shocked. "Really, you're going to do this?"

Taking a step forward, the girl said, "Please, I have nowhere else to go. Allow me to travel with you, I promise I won't get in the way. Are we not bounded by fate simply by our powers?"

A chipper bark erupted from Malik, implying his agreement with the child.

The only thing Juliette wanted to do was leave both of them behind, let them _join paths_. She was a one-woman crew, with the exception of Malik, but he was a dog…mostly. And besides, her one goal in life was to get away from other innocence users, not invite them to join her.

But when her eyes met the pleading ones of that child, young and wide and full of innocence, Juliette knew what she had to do. The right thing to do.

_Either I take her under my wing or she'll end up dead or with the Order…_

Frowning, she allowed one dry sigh to escape. "Fine."

A week had pressed on after such a meeting, the young girl—Juliette later learned was named Tara—going on and on with questions about innocence and the war and every little thing that Juliette had no interest in answering.

Now they found themselves entering Barcelona, a beautiful city bustling with life. "We'll stay here for a night," Juliette explained as she handed over some of the cash she had left to an innkeeper, leaving only a little bit for the group to work with until she could find some means to make more. "Then we'll leave on the morrow, hopefully making it to the next town over where I can work some odd-ball job to earn some more coin."

"Sounds good," Tara said with a smile, followed by a bark from Malik. "And I'm old enough to do some work as well, if you need help making money." It was a kind offer but Juliette felt strange asking the girl to work.

In a strange sense, she felt like the provider.

Upon entering their small room, Juliette watched the girl climb into bed, eyes looking through the wide window. "Just worry about handling your visions, alright? I can handle the money for now." She tossed her backpack—a small sack, really, with only a few simple provisions—upon the floor.

Malik quickly piled into the bed, resting his head on Tara's lap before fluttering his eyes shut. For a moment, Juliette became envious at how carefree the two were.

_She wouldn't even make a strong warrior…_

_Is this right of me to allow her to follow my path instead of going with the Order?_

_Or should I have insisted more that she return home?_

Frowning, she pressed her hand to the doorframe, starting intently at Tara as she gazed out through the window, a soft smile glued upon her face. _She's sweet and has a good heart, but she won't last long in this war._

She thought of Allen Walker then, the same warm smile woven across his face. _They're so young…_

"I'm going to go find us some food for dinner," she announced before leaving, never waiting for a goodbye. _Besides, I need some alone time._

* * *

><p>The city seemed to be alive, not from joy or excitement, but from fear and panic. Juliette watched as women clutched their children close, scurrying off into the depths of alleys and roadways to houses. Men—both young and old—began to form groups, almost like a mob in a sense. And most importantly: merchants were packing up for the day, too early for her tastes.<p>

If she didn't act fast, she might not be able to find food for her group.

Quickly she went down a road, eyes searching for whatever tinkers and sellers may be left. A group of oddly dressed men pushed past her, carrying strange devices and it took her no longer than a second to realize who they were.

Slowly, she pulled the collars of her coat up to conceal whatever she could of her neck and lower half of her face. Tension arose in her, fear slowly creeping in.

_Too much is happening too fast._

_It was only about three months ago when I first met Allen, an exorcist. Then once again, but with two more of his…of __**our**__ kind. Tara found me…and now members of the Order seem to be crawling all over the place._

Juliette couldn't tell if she had fallen into a string of bad luck or if this was all coincidence. It felt as if the world was crumbling down upon her, striking at her from every direction, desperate to make her journey—no, _life_ much harsher than it need be.

_All of these events…they can't be mere coincidences._

Nothing was ever that simple.

"Hurry men," one of the members squawked out, voice tired but full of anger and even a splash of panic. "We need to set up barriers before nightfall!"

_Barriers?_

She would have asked but fear of being recognized stopped her.

"Let's go!" he ordered, leading the man down the roadway and away from her view.

_They're preparing for something…_

Glancing around, it slowly began to click.

_The whole town is preparing for something, but what?_

Narrowing her stare, she decided it might be best to get what she could and quickly return to the inn. And while it took her longer than she would have liked, she did find one merchant still open, selling a cart of blood-red apples.

"How much?" Juliette asked.

The woman glanced up at her, sea of wrinkles covering her face. "A coin will do enough, dear. Take what you need for I'm about ready to close up."

A coin seemed like a wonderful deal and while Juliette quickly began to fish around her pocket for one, another took to her side, tall and well-dressed. She didn't pay him much mind for all she could focus on was finding _one_ coin.

Which seemed to be more trouble than she would have guessed.

"Oh, well, don't these look delicious?" the man beside her commented while picking up one of the apples. She could hear him toss a coin over to the woman, and then, oddly, felt his stare fall on her.

If she had to give a reason why he was staring at her, she would say it was because she was making herself look a fool while trying desperately to find a coin in her pocket. And it struck her at that moment that perhaps she didn't have any spare coins there, and that whatever currency she did carry was back in the inn.

In her bag.

Across town.

Where the apples were most definitely not.

Her legs felt weak then, eyes blinking as she took in the mistake she made.

"Thank you sir," the old woman said calmly. "Take another if you like, I'm closing down shop soon."

"Don't mind if I do," the man commented as he began to pick at different apples, filling his top hat.

Juliette would have smirked at the sight but was in too bad of a mood due to her own misfortune. _I can't believe I left my money back at the inn…_

"Were you still interested, girl?" the woman asked.

"Uh…" Juliette sent a pleading look at the woman. "Hey, uh, can I pay you back?" It was a silly question to ask, she knew, but she could at least try.

Sadly, the woman shook her head. "I can't risk that. Bad business, that's all."

"Here," the man beside her said, offering the woman another coin. "I'll pay."

Juliette, for the first time, went to meet his stare, eyes slightly wide. For a moment, it felt as if she seen him before but she couldn't exactly put her finger on it. "No…no, that's alright, you don't need to."

A smile came to him. "I insist." And after saying as such, he handed her an apple. "You should take as much as you can carry, she's offering a good deal here."

She let out a small huff, eyes glancing down at the ripe fruit. _There are kind people out there, I suppose…_ Shrugging, she took the man's advice and began to collect as much as she could. _It might not be the ideal dinner, but at least it's something. _Facing him, she quietly bided him thanks.

"You two should hurry on up and hide," the woman beckoned as she began to box up her remaining goods.

The man's stare left Juliette. "Hmm? What are you talking about?"

"Some very important men went around ordering everybody to hide for the night. That's why every merchant in town is closing up early."

_So they __**are**__ the ones behind the town's panic._

"Did they give a reason why, though?" she asked of the woman, searching her frail eyes and finding fear.

"No," the lady answered weakly before rubbing her neck. "But I wouldn't ignore them…wouldn't be good business."

Cocking a brow, Juliette nodded. "You should hurry up then." Before leaving, she sent one last thankful nod at the man, grateful for his help.

The sun was setting, night swooping in, and she scurried to the inn as fast as she could without dropping any of the fruit. If members of the Order were acting as such, it only meant one thing.

_War is coming to this city._

* * *

><p>"I told you to stay away from the window," Juliette huffed out before grabbing Tara by the arm and dragging her away. "You should sleep now and ignore the commotion outside."<p>

"But how can it?" Tara fought back, curiosity clearly strong in her. "I can hear explosions far off in the distance, the sound of screams even. Something's happening out there!"

"Something that's none of our concern," she objected. Juliette sent a quick glance behind the curtains, eyes searching the dark blanket of night sky. If she squinted hard enough, she could see the orange and red illumination of bombs off in the distance, somewhere on the other side of town. "We need to keep low and if things get too bad, we'll head for the basement."

A grunt of protest came from Malik.

Pulling away from the window, she sent the hound a hard look. "Don't start."

"What's going on?" Tara asked as she took to the edge of the bed, clutching the covers over her legs, showing more than just fear. "Why is this happening?"

_Lesson time._

Crossing her arms, Juliette pressed her back to the wall. "Want to know what that is, huh? That's the war I was telling you about last week, what _you're_ supposed to be doing…fighting whatever creatures are lurking about."

Tara's stare widened. "A-are there monsters out there? Those demons you spoke of?"

"You can bet on it," Juliette answered, more annoyed than ever. "This is what I wanted to get away from…"

_Or is it?_

Juliette didn't particularly dread fighting akuma, nor did she find it too terrible. Yes, it was a tough life to live in those regards, but what she truly despised, surprisingly, was the Order itself. _Or more so the way the run things over there…_

Her fingers flexed, beckoning for a fight.

_Is it wrong of me to cower in this inn while war rages outside? I…I was given innocence, the power to stop such destruction, yet I can't fight the sour taste it leaves in my mouth._

If she ever felt jaded, it was now.

Tara's voice weak and shy it was cut through Juliette's thoughts. "Why don't you go out there and fight? You stated you also have the power of the green lights…the innocence. Why don't you take a stand?"

Malik added a small grunt, agreeing with the girl.

"I don't want to get involved with the Order—"

"But this isn't the Order's doing, is it?" Tara asked, wide eyed and voice firmer than before. "You keep mentioning the Order and it is beyond clear that you share no love for them, but this is different, is it not?"

"The Order—members of it—are out there now…how is it not involved?"

Tara shook her head. "They're out there protecting the city, but that doesn't mean they can be the only ones, right? Can you help? Offer your assistance, if only from the dark. They don't have to know you were there…or…or…"

"Stop," Juliette ordered, waving dismissively at her once. "No more talk about what I should and should not do. Our survival is what is most important and I won't jeopardize that so you can feel better." She threw her gaze aside, back through the window, watching as a lone figure ran down the street, long locks of dark blue hair waving in the wind behind him.

He wore the same black coat Allen Walker did and it drew a bitter feeling in her gut.

_More exorcists…must mean the akuma are getting closer…_

Sighing, Juliette pushed herself from the wall and took to her own bed. "I'll keep watch for the night…and if the commotion reaches this side of the town, I'll intervene, only to protect us. For now, sleep."

That was enough to satisfy Tara, it seemed, and when the girl rested her head beside Malik, a single tear ran down her cheek.

It bothered Juliette briefly, puzzling her why the kid was crying softly as she did. She, herself, felt no guilt for keeping to the inn. Why should she?

She had no desire to live that life.

She had no wish to be caught by others.

And she certainly didn't care for Tara's antics in trying to guilt her to fight.

_Yet, for some reason, I still have this urge to fight. Not for the Order, but for something else…something I quite can't put my finger on._

Perhaps it was the innocence residing inside her which drew up such feelings. Or perhaps it was her missing the kiss of her weapon against her fingertips. Whatever may be the reason, Juliette found herself, once again, conflicted about her life as an exorcist.

_No. I'm not an exorcist, not anymore. Just somebody cursed to bear innocence…_

And while no trouble came their way that night, Juliette kept up wondering what could have been if she did indeed aid her fellow innocent users.

* * *

><p>They awoke before the break of dawn, walking silently down crumbled roads and ugly broken buildings. Upon the entering of town square, horror took over—more so the young girl than Juliette. The image was hard to bear, a cruel joke some may say.<p>

Hung up high laid the corpse of an exorcist, upside down with arms drawn aside—a mockery of Christ it seemed.

Tara fell to her knees, gaze casted aside as tears ran down. Small whimpers escaped the child and Juliette looked to her with confusion.

She had no idea what to do, how to comfort the weeping girl. Instead, all she did was turn her sight back to the corpse.

"Who could do something like this?" she asked aloud, more to herself.

A voice came then.

"Daisya, no."

It belonged to an odd looking fellow, with strange hair and stranger contraptions upon his ears. He stood tall besides another man, the one she saw the night before. Both wore their coats of black.

The fear began once more.

"Tara, get up, now." Juliette went to the girl, grabbing at her elbow and trying her best to tug her up. "We need to leave." When she snuck another glance back at the two men, she saw the blue haired male looking her way, eyes sharper than hers. "Tara," she whispered harshly. "You can cry later."

And so with struggle, Juliette managed to lead the girl away from the center of town, Malik quickly following suit. It wasn't until they left the city limits that Tara spoke.

"I could feel him," she whimpered weakly, hands covering her face and she sniffed loudly. "I could feel the empty void left from him, as if ripped from existence—a cold feeling of helplessness. His innocence…I could feel its haunting shadow among us, calling out with its voice growing weaker and weaker with every passing moment."

And as Tara continued on about the fallen exorcist, Juliette struggled to offer comfort. Doing so didn't come naturally to her and it became a task to even think up of a nice thing to say. In the end, all she could manage to spit up was, "He's at peace, now."

While she didn't believe it herself, she could tell that Tara bought it all the same.

_This is what happens to those who deal with the Order._

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Do you guys like the story so far? Is it an enjoyable read? If you have any problems/issues with how it's set up or if it's not entertaining enough, please say so! I want to write a fun story for you to enjoy reading. : )

I'm also going to play around with the whole Allen x Lavi, or Allen x Kanda thing eventually, so I hope you guys don't mind that either...or at least, I hope you don't get surprised by it and find yourself upset with such a pairing.

**Thank you to everybody who read, reviewed, faved, and followed this story! I hope you continue to enjoy it!**


	4. Barcelona Pt 2

**A/n:** This chapter deals with Allen's take to the aftermath of Barcelona as well as slight implications of feelings towards Kanda (Nothing obvious, but the beginning of feelings, I'd say.)

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><p><strong>Ultraviolence|<strong> Barcelona Pt. 2

**Allen**

For the first time in years, Allen Walker felt absolutely numb. His heart ran true and his skin went afire with goose bumps, but his mind was as still as a lake. Air ran clingy, hot and ragged from his lips, and his fingers flexed. Still, his emotions—if he had any at that moment—were hidden.

Then, after what seemed to be an eternity, pain found him.

_Dead, all of them._

While Allen himself did not know the exorcists, they were fellow warriors, with families and dreams and most importantly: futures.

_All dead…_

The night had borne many fallen fighters, truthfully. Over one-hundred followers had perished like moths against a flame.

Anger followed suit.

_Why…? Why did this happen?_

Tightness formed in his gut, stomach twisting and quenching until he felt on the verge of hurling. His eyes widened, looking at nothing, but seeing everything.

_This city…last night…all of them dead._

Guilt embraced him the hardest of all emotions, running through his veins and collecting like a pit in his skull. His head began to throb, imagines of what they—the fallen—must have looked like: bloodied, broken, and lifeless.

_I should have been there._

_If I had, things…things might have been different._

A hand touched his own, gentle as summer breeze. "Allen?" she asked, voice soft, yet, full of concern. Lenalee always had that about her.

Slowly his eyes rose to search hers, pools of green wide and full of pain—the same pain he must have been feeling as well. He knew not what to say but it seemed, at that moment, that just meeting her stare could be comfort enough.

And so they sat beside one another, staring off into the void that was the city Barcelona, taking in the haunting silence of death. Hours had seemed to pass, none of them speaking and only the fluttering of Timcampy's wings buzzing off in the distance.

The general came with a soft expression, brows lowered and lips thin. He offered them a single wave—friendly it was, offering some comfort. "Hello, you two," he greeted, voice calm yet chipper enough.

While excited to have found General Tiedoll, Allen couldn't help but shake off the cocktail of pain, anger, and guilt that inhabited his mind. Slowly, his glance left the old man, finding the tall frame of Kanda, his heart tightening even more.

Kanda had spent the night fighting in Barcelona, protecting citizens and defending as many followers as he could.

_I should have been there beside him, offering my aid…_

_Kanda…_

The older male had lost a comrade, Allen realized. He knew that they must have been close—closer than Allen could have ever been to the exorcists.

_Is…is Kanda alright?_

Allen searched his face, looking for any key features that betrayed the inner workings of Kanda's mind. He found nothing. Like always, Kanda remained a statue, shoulders broad and face full of mystery.

_I wish I knew the right thing to say to him…to comfort his lost…_

"General Tiedoll," Lenalee spoke, causing Allen to snap from his thoughts, eyes leaving Kanda and returning back to the general.

The man nodded. "Yes, it's me." He quickly glanced upwards, brows lowering. "Come now, it'll be morning soon."

Lenalee was the first to arise, cocking her head back to look down at Allen. She offered him her hand and he took it.

Within the city was even more dreadful than Allen could imagine. All around him he could sense death, feeling the lost souls drifting aimlessly. Biting down on his lip, he could barely taste his own blood.

Slowly, he glanced back at Kanda, whom was staring off in some direction, eyes as hard as the rest of his face. The other exorcist—he learned was name Marie—was sad enough, that much was clear, but he still held a sense of strength to him.

_They keep strong, even after losing a comrade…_

Allen thought such reactions—grieving, even, maybe—was part of growing up. Yes, both males were older than he was, with Kanda having about four years on him, and he couldn't help but feel he should be just as strong.

_I can't cry…_

_Not anymore…_

_I have—no, __**need**__ to be strong._

General Tiedoll took a seat beside Allen and Lenalee, upon broken steps to what was once a cathedral. "There is no doubt this city has seen some devastating things," he simply said before burying his chin into his palms, eyes staring out at the destruction before them all.

Allen could feel the tension rising in Lenalee. "Yes," she said, voice gloomy. "I only wish Allen and I could have gotten here sooner so we could have helped." He watched as her gaze fell upon her hands, eyes starting to glisten. "We came as fast as we could, but by the time we got here, the battle was over."

_Is she going to cry?_

He could either go upon the route she took or stay strong like Kanda did. For her sake, he chose keeping a stiff upper lip, allowing Lenalee to rely on him if needing comfort.

_If anything, I'll stay strong for the both of us. Can't have us weeping away while everybody else keeps mute._

"It was hopeless," he added. "We…we might have just stayed home for all the good it did." Anger flared in him, digging into his sides.

_We were too late…and they all died…_

_How many could we have saved if we only gotten here earlier? One, ten…all of them?_

The group went mute, eyes all looking off into different directions and not at each other. Allen grew tired of waiting, anger pushing him over the edge. He needed to do something…to atone for his failure.

"General, will you return to the Order?" he asked, eyes glancing off at the old man. _The Order needs them…all the generals. If all I can do right now to help is get him back home, then I'll make sure I do it._

A smile played with Tiedoll's lips. "I am an exorcist—really, a general—and I'll always be there to offer my aid to the Order if they need it of me; however, I will continue on my own way, finding the innocence and users. When the time comes when the Order truly needs me back at one of the bases, I shall come." His eyes met Allen's, looking at him as a father might do his own son. "Each of you have responsibilities, do you not?"

Allen found himself gazing down, breathing out one heavy sigh. _He's right…I need to find Master…_

"Listen," Tiedoll began with Timcampy landing gently upon his hand, "it is no coincidence that all the generals are being targeted. They're—the enemy—is seeking us out, trying to eliminate us so we cannot find more accommodators."

"Then that means…" Lenalee muttered softly before trailing off.

"Master Cross?" Allen found himself asking, fear settling in. _Are they going after him? Have they already found him?_

_Is…is Master alright?_

Tiedoll nodded once. "Yes, and you two need to find him, and fast."

From there on, the general explained to them the means to finding Cross—through none other than Timcampy. Ready to set off East, Allen and Lenalee bided the old man a farewell, thanking him for the information he'd given.

"Come on, Allen," Lenalee ordered as she took a step towards their new journey.

Pausing, he glanced back towards the cathedral. Tiedoll and Marie had ventured inside, leaving Kanda to survey around broken down corners. "Wait a second for me?" he asked the girl, earning one confused nod.

Approaching him, Allen said, "Kanda, I'm sorry."

Hard eyes landed on him.

"For your lost, I mean," he added, startled. Kanda's glare had always alarmed the boy, yet, oddly, he had grown used to it—or perhaps, even fond of it. "It…it must be hard for you to bear such grief."

Narrowing his stare, Kanda threw his gaze aside, arms crossing. "Don't talk to me, beansprout."

While it was a cruel thing to say, Allen couldn't help but smile. _Beansprout…_ "I'm not a beansprout, baka," he shot back, hoping it would ease the tension.

Kanda only shook his head, clearly annoyed. "I don't have time to chit-chat. Go find that general." He turned, taking a step away from Allen, implying that the conversation—if there ever was one to begin with—was now over.

"…" Allen took the hint, turning around as well and heading towards Lenalee. Before reaching her, he stopped, cocked his head back, and said, "I really am sorry, Kanda."

He left it at that.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to everybody who read, followed, and faved this story! I hope you're enjoying it.<strong>


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